Messages Sent to Author

[ 65 ]

"CONTINUE TO FILL US WITH WONDER."

-- A FRENCH WOMAN FACEBOOK FRIEND.

[ 64 ]

Dear Michael,
I graduated at university with a thesis on "cognitive & behavioral approach on verbal auditory hallucinations in schizophrenia".
This happened 8 years ago.
I have seen your name on books hundreds of times,
and now,
here you are!!!
Amazing.........
Thank you Michael,
Daniele Bruni

[ Cognitive and Behavioral Psychotherapist. ]

[ 63 ]

I read your reflections upon the amok-pilot. Also trawled further on your website: Schizophrenia - the Bearded Lady Disease. Interesting and inspiring reading. Thank you for sharing it.
Sefika

Clinical Psychologist Sefika Arpaci Dehn (M.A. - Psychology, Psychiatry)

[ 62 ]

Thank you Michael for your generosity. Much appreciated your endorsement. I was exploring your website and got to know some significant and highly insightful information about mental health issues. Highly relevant in my profession. I will revisit your site again. Thanks for sharing,

Regards,

Puspita Sen [Psychotherapist]

[ 61 ]

(March 6, 2015)

I am highly impressed with Sir J. Michael for the great work done by him. I wish I could get the chance to work with him.

- Mohd Naim, M.A., M.B.A., M.C.A., BSc.
Indira Gandhi National Open University, India.

[ 60 ]

( February 2, 2015 )

Hi J. Michael,

Lovely to be connected with you [on LinkedIn]. I read your website and found it fascinating. I look forward to reading your postings.

Best of regards,

M [ Chartered Counselling Psychologist ]

[ 59 ]

( February 28, 2015 )

Thank you sir.

The pleasure is mine. Thank you for your service and your research on schizophrenia. My brother has schizophrenia, and watching his battle over many decades has brought me into a full awareness of what a cruel, cruel beast of a disease it is.

Best,

Name (deleted for privacy).

[ 58 ]

270. Page 10.

( January, 2015 )

Thanks to you, Dr. Mahoney!

We admire your work in Mexico, as in the rest of the world.

-- Omar Lopez Vergara (Psychotherapist)

[ 57 ]

Thank you sooo much for accepting the invitation, and for the endorsments. Reading Mahoney is a must in Portuguese Psychology and for me it was / has been very inspiring.

My best wishes
Sandra

On 10/16/14 10:23 AM, J. Michael Mahoney wrote:
--------------------
Many thanks, Sandra Vilarinho, Faculty of Psychology, and all best wishes!!

- Mike (J. Michael) Mahoney

[ 56 ]

Thank you for accepting my invitation [to LinkedIn]. I am honoured! You are an inspiration to many clinicians.

- BA [A Clinical Psychologist.]

[ 55 ]

Laurrainne Robichaud

RN., MS., Psychiatric Nurse at Georgetown University Hospital, Psychiatric Partial Hospitalization Program.

On 08/27/14 7:55 AM, laurrainne robichaud wrote:
There have been advances in the treatment of this devastating illness. I worked in a state hospital where we used cold wet sheet packs, insulin therapy, a few lobotomies and lots of thorazine. Every one had tardive dyskinesia. Everything was the parents fault. It must be gratifying to be a part of research into this illness. Thanks for your work. laurrainne

[ 54 ]

Dear Dr Mahoney

I was flattered to read that you are "delighted to be connected" with me.

It reminded me of a joke: an elephant and a mouse were walking in the desert. At a certain point the mouse looks back and says: dear friend you may look back to see how much dust we make.

I hope that it will not be exaggerated to say that I am one of your countless followers, while you hear my name for the first time, and have no profound works on schizophrenia.

Thanks again

Nir

On 12/30/12 5:43 AM, J. Michael Mahoney wrote:
--------------------
Delighted to be connected with you on LinkedIn, Dr. Nir Essar, and all best wishes!!

Mike Mahoney

On December 30, 2012 2:31 AM, Dr Nir Essar wrote:
--------------------
I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

[ 53 ]

Many thanks for you. You have been and will continue to be my great teacher. Thanks for everything that has taught me. All my respect and gratitude. Psychologist, Laura F.

[ An unedited communication ]

[ 52 ]

NOTE: Author J. Michael Mahoney is not a "Dr." -- He is solely an independent researcher in the field of mental health / illness.

----- Original Message -----
From: J. Michael Mahoney
To: Isaac [Deleted]
Sent: Saturday, July 26, 2014 6:49 PM
Subject: Re: Dr. Mahoney

Dear Isaac, Your best bet would be to find yourself a good "Freudian" psychoanalyst somewhere?

So glad you like my book and recommend it to others. Many thanks for that!!

Very best wishes, Mike

www.Schizophrenia-TheBeardedLadyDisease.com

----- Original Message -----
From: Isaac [ Deleted]
To: SigmundFreud@comcast.net
Sent: Saturday, July 26, 2014 5:28 PM
Subject: re: Dr. Mahoney

Dr. Mahoney,
You are a genius.
I love your book,and I always get other's to read it.
I have been wondering if you had any psychiatrists which you could recommend who are aware of the bisexual conflict.
I spoke to several of them, but most of them are women, who mainly deny all, if not most, of Freud's theories.
Primal Therapy may be a start, but Dr. [Deleted by jmm.] can be too much of an egotistical maniac. I really look forward to hearing from you
Best regards, Isaac

[ 51 ]

Narayan Aryal
Psychiatrist working in the UK.
dear Michael, May God bless you. Here I can feel , smell , hear see and taste your depth of knowledge, kindness and humility. i have used all my 5 senses to learn from your writing but i have no other sense , even no common sense to understand your thoughtfulness. I'm learning.

[ 50 ]

140. Page 6

And YES I have been on your BeardedLady site many times already. I like it. Thank you!

[ Signe Baumane, a highly creative, independent film animator who states that 20 years ago she was diagnosed as being manic depressive. See her link: https://vimeo.com/user4341796 ]

[ 49 ]

141. Page 6

Thanks much Mike and again, Great Work !! [referring to New Quotation / Comment # 784 on this website]. The fact that I was living and working in close quarters with other guys on board the fishing boats must of had a similar effect on my early breakdowns.

I watched a video this morning on CBS of a bearded lady breakdown in progress. Poor guy.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505263_162-57399843/kony-2012-creator-hospitalized-after-arrest/?tag=morningFlexGridRight;flexGridModule

Take the Best of Care my great friend and colleague,

[name deleted]

[ 48 ]

149. Page 6

Hi Michael,

I am writing to let you know I am leaving [deleted] to live near my daughter in the [deleted] suburbs. They are picking up my shipment tomorrow and then I'll be gone. The house is listed with a realtor and I'm hoping someone will come along and want it sooner than later. I don't know when I'll get my computer set up again. I'm moving into a senior independent living apartment building.

Chatted with [female name] for a very brief time via Facebook and this is what he said to me: "You are not even real . I am proven to be [female name] and you would still pass a lie detector . perhaps it would be different if you could face the day , but you can't."

It's a bit sad for me to know that I will probably never see him again.... brings me tears....but he doesn't acknowledge me as his mother and there's nothing I can do about it.

You know I have hundreds of his old emails (I've sent you a lot of them) and I'm really wondering why I keep them. I guess I always thought it would be an interesting read if put into book form but I'm just not up to it. Besides it carries so much pain for me.

Thanks, Michael, for the books you sent me and for the encouragement too. [Name deleted]

[ The writer of the above message is the mother of a middle-aged man who has suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, the "bearded lady" disease, for a good part of his life -- delusionally believing he has become a woman, both physically and emotionally. (See the link "A Mother's Anguish" on this website, and also the "PROLOGUE".) He has cycled in and out of numerous psychiatric hospitals over the years. ]

[ 47 ]

153. Page 6

Great to hear from you again, [Deleted]. I am very sorry to learn about your brother's psychological troubles. The best thing for him to do is find a good psychologist or psycho-analyst (Freudian-trained, if possible) he is comfortable with and then just start talking about what is on his mind (or in his unconscious). This is known as the "talking cure" and can be a very long and difficult process, but it is the only way for him to gain the needed insight about his "bearded lady" bisexual conflict and gender confusion, to effect a "cure".

You could also suggest that he look at my website or read my book on schizophrenia.

Please keep in touch and let me know how things are going.

Very best, Mike

----- Original Message -----

From: [Deleted]
To: J. Michael Mahoney
Sent: Saturday, August 24, 2013 3:35
Subject: schizophrenia

Thank you Mike. I've been reading as you suggested and looking at the information on your website. Schizophrenia is a fascinating subject and the evidence put forward in your research has been quite a revelation to me. I have a brother who was diagnosed as schizophrenic many years ago. He is now [deleted] years old. Everything you've said fits with what I know about his bisexual conflict and repression. You also say that psychotherapy is the only effective treatment for schizophrenia. Now I'm wondering if you can give me any information about where I could seek help for my brother. He is currently living in [Deleted] but is going to be relocated nearer family living in [Deleted]. I would be grateful for any advice you can give me.

Best Regards, [Deleted]

[ 46 ]

226. Page 9

NOTE: This letter is unedited, and certain names and dates, etc., have been deleted for privacy reasons. (jmm)

[ 45 ]

228. Page 9

From: " [deleted] "
To: jmmahoney001@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2014 7:38 AM
Subject: Comments on Schizophrenia

I read your book because my younger brother had been diagnosed as such and in spite of medication was never on an even keel and was always ingesting OTC drugs that would help with his anxiety.

I called him and asked him about your theory. He immediately replied that had he not found God, he'd have been a "flaming faggot". He said he recalled the exact moment in the 5th grade when our Mother beat his manhood out of him.

He'd been married, had a child which he said happened because he'd had intercourse with the help of some drug and not again perhaps. It was after this that he descended into his mental illness, deeply. He'd spend an hour or two trying to decide if he should put sugar into his coffee or not.

He was a graduate of the University of [deleted] and taught for a brief time.

He died of a heart attack and sepsis about 6 years ago, not long after the conversation noted above. Our Mother was the only girl, the middle child, in a family of 5. Her Father was a Fire Chief in [deleted] who was by all accounts a tough, unflinching person. He threatened his children with a rifle when they were not quiet enough at bedtime.

She did marry our Father, a very soft spoken and loving person who never sided with his sons.

I do believe that your book has many worthwhile points to be made. I just hosted the marriage of my youngest daughter to her female partner. Your book was instrumental in helping me happily support her in this.

I wonder if there is any documentation which points to a reduction in schizophrenia as a result of the rising acceptance of homosexuality in our society.

Thank you for your work.

[ Note: Deletions have been made in certain places in the above letter, obviously for privacy reasons. And as for an answer to the writer's final, exceptionally astute question: If there is any such "documentation" I am unaware of it at the present time. But it must be a certainty that the so-called "Gay revolution" has become the greatest boon to mental health which has ever occurred, for now people do not have to go mad, or berserk, as a result of repressing or disavowing these heretofore psychologically and culturally "forbidden" sexual feelings. And hurrah for that. -- jmm. ]

[ 44 ]

On 11/07/14 7:53 PM, [ ----- ] wrote:

On 11/07/14 1:38 AM, J. Michael Mahoney wrote:

With kindest regards, Mike

On 11/05/14 11:15 PM, [ ----- ] wrote:

[ 43 ]

On 08/28/14 4:55 PM, Catherine wrote:
--------------------------------------------------
Hi J. Michael,

Just a note on your research. My parents told us that all of our grandparents had passed on, before we were born. In the 70's I found out that my father's mother had actually been in a mental Hospital in N.Y. (Schizophrenia) and had a lobotomy done to her, shortly after our father was born. He grew up in an orphanage in New York. One of my younger sisters is Schizophrenic and is not able to take care of herself. Mental illness is such an interesting topic, I am so happy to have you as a LI [LinkedIn] connection.

Catherine

[ from a fellow-LinkedIn member. ]

[ 42 ]

29. Page 2

I read about your book, but have not bought it. I don't know if I am offended or intrigued. I wrote a screenplay about my own schizophrenic father and had a story about him on MTV. I guess I won't fully know what I think about what you are saying unless I read it, but I think I am too offended to look LOL! I want to be open minded and if you fully knew about my father you would know why I am afraid to read it.

Well take care. Stephanie

Summary about Daughter of a Rogue By Stephanie Lynn Hilpert

[ 41 ]

30. Page 2

Dear JB,

Many thanks for your email. I am very sorry to hear you have been struggling with schizophrenia for some time now. I hope my website has been of some help to you. If you have any questions I might be able to help answer, pls let me know. In the meantime take the best of care and never give up hope.

Very best regards,
Mike Mahoney

---------------------------------------

On October 3, 2007 at 3:36am -0500, you wrote:

Dear Sir,

I have been struggling with writings for some time. I came across your site while researching an illness that took 20 years for me to discover. I surely have it and now understand my writing. I am somewhat elated to have found your site. Not to go into much detail at the moment. I hope we can communicate. I thought no one could understand the insanity my life is. It has become very serious as of late. My fears aren't haven't been for myself but those I care for. I too can explain my illness and why I have it. From reading your site I also see that the world may not hear my words simply because they'll mistake their deafness for my madness.

In hopes of collaboration,
- JB

[ 40 ]

31. Page 2

Dear Mr. Mahoney,

Your book has a challenging thesis relying on observations and writings of many eminent psychologists and other thinkers of the 20th Century. Whether your main thesis is to be disputed or accepted, it should not be ignored.

Yet I have not seen any reviews by psychologists or psychiatrists. If your book has been shunned because you are not in their "guild," that is deplorable.

Of course, restricting actual practice to those certified in a legitimate way in some fields such as medicine, surgery, pharmacy, nursing, and to a lesser extent, law and engineering can be justified.

But what you are offering is a theoretical understanding of the etiology of a mental condition, and it deserves discussion in a variety of fields. Contributions from "outsiders" have long been important for science, historically. If a thoughtful and informed person's ideas are ignored only because of a lack of "standing" in a "peerage" or status system, this does not bode well for future intellectual discourse.

P. D. Moncrief Jr.
pdmoncrief@yahoo.com

[ 39 ]

32. Page 2

Please, a short comment on your book ...

I am so sure that your book and those who contributed to it have been served well by its publication. I can absolutely agree that within this culture sexual orientation and sexual expression are so terribly repressed and distorted, and I've had friends who have been so abused for their same-sex love – that of course the trauma of the abuse and the resulting sense of powerlessness as far as effective rebuttal creates a need for a separate reality. I myself created this separate reality within myself and I understand. But I am not ambiguous about my need to create loving nests with men. My dissatisfaction with my own sex has to do with the distortions around what being a woman is supposed to look like and a pressure to endlessly and brutally enforce a preoccupation with appearance and child-rearing.

I hate women's arrogance to women in these areas. What a waste! So it is not gender, but power that I feel strangled in expressing. But much love to you.

Sheila Blinn
sheila.blinn@goddard.edu

[ 38 ]

33. Page 2

Mr Mahoney,

I spotted the ad for your book in the PAW (I'm from class of '64). Have only had the chance to read excerpts, but hope to find and peruse the book shortly (I don't usually pay new book prices, but may have to make an exception in this case).

By any chance, do you know Leonard Frank of San Francisco, a brilliant expatient now in his 70's who has also published Quotations – you could google him and his Quotationery, which is on the net?

Are you otherwise in contact with any members of the (sadly, extremely feeble politically) expatient and dissident professional movement?

In response to a description of your book by the publisher, I submitted the following to a Medical news site.

with best regards,
Ron Thompson, Fairfax, VA,
ronthompson4@cox.net
ps I'm also deeply impressed with the form your philanthropy has taken.

---------------------------------------

First, I want to get out of a minor 'straitjacket,' for I am neither a "health care professional" nor exactly a mere "member of the public" either.

I am a former voluntary mental patient (1964-1966), an alumnus of McLean Hospital who had the same psychiatrist as Sylva Plath – Ruth Tiffany Barnhouse (then Ruth Beuscher) who, to my immense (but then utterly oblivious) good fortune, neither subjected me to, nor advised me, to undergo either insulin treatment or shock, both of which were endured by SP, voluntarily and involuntarily. What is truly frightening is that if Barnhouse had advised either one, I was in such psychological and physical pain that I would have demanded them immediately, to my probable permanent physical and psychological injury (never mind the effect if I had been attacked with these procedures).

Independently of the relative and partial success of my voluntary semi-psychoanalytical therapy, I later became a longtime (1986-present) opponent of any psychiatric forced treatment, or, more accurately, the use of force IN THE NAME OF TREATMENT (this more exact phrasing is to acknowledge that the use of force may sometimes be unavoidable in madness situations, but that we should not, and doctors should not, lie to themselves that the exclusive or primary reason for intervention is to 'help' the person whose behavior is suppressed.

I am also – and have a long resume to back this up – a critic of the fundamentally flawed theory (which has become dogma) that 'now we know all mental illness is due to a brain defect or 'chemical imbalance'. Looked at with strict scientific objectivity, we know no such thing. Even if there is some circumstantial evidence, we have no definitive proof, with the tragic result that this limited and inconclusive evidence is used to justify both the biological theory of mental illness, and the moral legitimacy of forced treatment.

The universal acceptance of these two dogmas has done enormous harm not only to countless individuals, but to our basic knowledge of Human Nature.

And so this book, although it may involve some seemingly bizarre and even surrealistic readings, starting with its title, seems to be an enormous breath of fresh air and humanistic good sense. I also, for a number of reasons, basically agree with the underlying theory offered by author Mahoney.

Last, if his theory is right, it should be noted that like any other great truth about human nature – such as the theory of the "inalienable rights" of all human beings – it can never be proven by strictly scientific methods. Like the value and necessity of the concept of inalienable rights, we will either come to just know it ... or not.

For these reasons I give the review a 5.

[ 37 ]

34. Page 2

January 02, 2008 3:07 pm
Subject: Bearded Lady

What a great thing you have done!! I am only up to 65, but surely I will finish, as you have done such a wonderful job. (I might hesitate to say, only a man could get someone to take his scribbled notes and make it into a book!)

I have just spent the last 2 years of my life editing and publishing the works of a man who is paralyzed on one side from aftermaths of a stroke after years of alcoholism. First was Times Queer, then several other chapbooks, and a novel Vienna Dolorosa (www.ViennaDolorosa.com) but the one I'm working on now, Holy Communion, is really his first novel and by far the most revealing. His conflicts with homosexuality and being sexually used as a child come through, of course, in much of his writing. I wrote an Afterword in the first two; I think I'll leave HC alone to speak for itself. Very powerful stuff.

I was trained in sex therapy by an ego-analytic sex therapist in Berkeley CA, and tho I haven't practiced for a number of years, I still find it all fascinating (as I did with Kinsey in my teens, Kraft von Ebing in my twenties, etc). Btw, I found you looking up dysthymic in Answers.com for my author/friend (he seemed particularly under the weather today). You were very clever to include your book on that page.

Again, thanks for all your hard work and that of your colleagues.

Sally Miller
Sally@SallyMiller.com

The rights of the best of men are secured only as the rights of the vilest and most abhorrent are protected.

[ Chief Justice Charles Evans Hughes, 1927 ]

[ 36 ]

35. Page 2

Sir:

Although Sigmund Freud was right about almost everything, he could not find the cause of schizophrenia. I have read one fantastic theory after another about it's origin, but I have not read anything about the real cause.

Schizophrenia is not inherited, it can be cured with psychoanalyses and the cause is quite similar to the 1948 Fromm-Friedman about the cold mother. This theory is only 50 per cent correct, since it has a missing link (It's quite simple, there is no riddle, no mystery.)

I am tired of all of these fantastic theories that are portraying these people as some kind of deformed monsters or some kind of creatures from outer space.

The madness has to stop. The treatment of schizophrenia is a trillion dollar business, and the forces who are profiting are the ones doing this and many, for profit, have joined them.

Having 4 close members of my family with severe mental illness, has given me insight and I discovered the cause 35 years ago.

[ female – no name given ]

[ 35 ]

36. Page 2

Re: The Bearded Lady – Personal Story about MY Brother

Dear Mr. Mahoney,

Firstly, I wish to thank you for writing a book on schizophrenia, as it is a disease few people understand.

I have a twin brother who suffers from the illness. My family has over the years done what we could to get him help & attention.

Recently, his living situation has deteriorated in Seattle. The organization is threatening to leave him homeless if we do not come up with money to support his ongoing care. This is cruel. We are trying to resolve this as best we can, but as we aren't wealthy, we realize this is a dilemma that will get worse.

Also, over the years, we've seen a total decline in my brother's care at [Name deleted] Family Services and we believe they are "pushing him out" as we are not one of the "wealthy" families who can afford to give them money.

This organization is supposed to help those in need but in reality it really only helps those with money.

I write to you in hopes you may direct me to what you know of positive and safe housing, care, assisted living situations for the mentally ill. The immediate family, my son and I as well as my sister and her two children wish to return to the east coast. We are in Seattle but plan to relocate and will seek housing in the NY State vicinity.

I am simply seeking guidance in this from intelligent, caring, educated folks as yourself in hopes I will be directed to the proper channels. I've appealed to various organizations but thus far haven't been successful.

Thank you for any information you may have and your time and consideration of this matter.

Sincerely, Elissa Lipman

(A Fellow Advocate for the Mentally Ill Rights & Education for the Public on this Issue.)

[ 34 ]

37. Page 2

Subject: dreams

Mike I don't remember. The first one was that I had no breasts and in that dream I saw [Name deleted] and [Name deleted] with a baby. The second one was that I made love to a woman with breasts and a penis. When I was ill I thought all the time that I have a GPS attached to my clothes (gloves, shoes, jackets, bags, watch – which I threw away because of this) and that I am followed by the whole town. I read almost everything in the online Truman library to "decipher" in my mind the coded messages I thought you were sending to me for our secret meeting. I thought also that you were sending me coded messages via email. I would act under the influence of the moment and go to a different town or very far in the mountains to meet you. I was afraid of the cameras. I thought that people were taking photos of me. I thought that everybody knew me and that everyone was talking about me. I was also afraid of numbers. Anything which seemed illogical to me like this mark and a number: 111 or long numbers. I also thought that some things which I watched on TV were untrue or done on purpose to send me some sort of message like the fires in California at the end of last year. I thought that people did that on purpose. I also saw at that time a program on some plane – which they built (the biggest in the world) which could take several hundred people on board. I thought that this was untrue. I thought that the people were trying to send me some message. The reminiscence of it all is very painful for me. I have made a huge recovery thanks to you when I think where I am now and what I think. I love you.

P.S. Mike I reread my letter you put in the Impression section. I realize now how ill I was. I also thought at that time that people were eavesdropping my phone calls, that everything was planned (to destroy me, persecute me), that there were cameras in my house and outside of it. When I was ill I didn't realize that I was ill and that something was wrong with my thinking.

When I was ill I once went to a telephone booth from which I wanted to call you. I noticed some woman who was sitting there. I was convinced that you were dressed up as this woman. I think that this points to my bisexual conflict.

[ A personal communication approved for release by the sender. She is presently also under psychiatric care and taking anti-psychotic medication. ]

[ 33 ]

38. Page 2

[ Message A. ]

Mike maybe it means that I envy men a penis I would like to have it. Maybe it points to my homosexuality and that I would like to have relations with women with it. I don't know you are an analyst.

Mike thank you for staying with me when I was ill and that you were writing emails with me all the time. I miss you. LOVE

[ Message B. ]

Mike in that dream I dreamt that I masturbated (I shouldn't be telling you this) and I felt frustrated and I wished that I had a penis. I think that it points to my bisexual conflict that I would like to have a masculine part of the body and that I didn't dream that I would like to have a feminine part like my own breasts.

[ Message C. ]

I have just had a dream that I made love with a woman. I felt really fine after the dream.

[ Message D. ]

I had a dream today that I was dancing with a woman and later with a man. I think it points to my bisexual nature.

[ Reprinted with permission by the sender, who is a 33-year-old female who has been suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, the "bearded lady disease." Please also refer to previous Impressions 37 and to New Quotations/-Comments 720. ]

[ 32 ]

39. Page 2

Hi Mike, I just finished reading your book again. I made notes of all that really got my attention. I especially like 262 that I think catches all that can be said about schizophrenia.

I noticed another article in the Austin American Statesman today with the heading "Study: Gene Variations Raise Risk of Schizophrenia" by Benedict Carey of The New York Times. The obvious seems to be overlooked in every way possible.

My stepson is still showing all the symptoms. He is going to a community college but only for monitoring. He is going to a call for casting in a movie today accompanied by his mother. He hopes to be cast as [deleted]. Some of this is so obvious that I wish she could see it. Still hears the voices that never lie to him and promise many girl friends sometime in the future. He also claims to have received a Nobel Prize for something. He has written a short book that is complete nonsense and unintelligible. And of course claims to already have many degrees and that is why he is just monitoring the classes he attends. He doesn't want to intimidate the other students with all that he knows and is. I have almost no contact when he visits us to avoid further controversy.

I am still looking for a psychologist that understands what is going on and that his mother would approve of.

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 31 ]

40. Page 2

Your Schizophrenia book is great! I've been helping someone with severe schizophrenia for three years now, and your book explains EVERYTHING.

Is it available in the Russian language?

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 30 ]

41. Page 2

Mike,

Thanks for your help. I've done tons of research in the past few years and find the contradicting views of doctors on schizophrenia frightening. Many seem to have a schizophrenic view (repression and denial) of the role of homosexuality in schizophrenia. "A Beautiful Mind" is one example. After loading the book with many examples of Nash's repressed homosexuality the author denies that this played a factor in his illness! The film version ignored it altogether. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, which is why I commend you for compiling in one book all the quotes supporting this obvious theory.

My harrowing firsthand experience only validates your compelling argument. A quote about alcohol making the patient aggressively homosexual and aggressively violent mirrors my experience exactly on a two day Russian train trip with my friend, who had previously never acted this way before. Schizophrenia is indeed a nightmare for all involved. While I ended up in a foreign emergency room with broken ribs, I am now healed but my friend is still not the person he was before the onset of his severe condition. Perhaps your book will help him.

Thanks again.

[ Pls reference Impressions 40. ]

[ 29 ]

42. Page 2

Dear Sir,

Frankly, I cannot comprehend how you arrive at this theory of yours, that schizophrenia is somehow connected with "unconscious bisexual conflict/-gender confusion".

I am very glad that the medical team at the hospital I stayed in eight years ago – who by the way helped me to stay symptom-free since then (despite that time being my third episode already) – was not acquainted with any of your obscure theories.

I am sure that one might be able to incorporate gender confusion in their psychotic delusions, just as some incorporate religious experiences, etc. But you should have realized that, although surely all patients seek to find a "cause" for their infliction, in most cases, there just is no cause!!

In the case of schizophrenia, the knowledge that a hormonal imbalance in the metabolism of the brain is the most critical precondition for the disease, has been around for some time.

Let me tell you, I have no "bisexually confused" bone in my body, although I have been diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder at the age of 21. And thank God for that. I would not want to be in a position where I would have to live a life of continuous inner turmoil with regards to my sexual self-conception.

Best Regards,

M.V.A., Frankfurt, Germany

[ 28 ]

43. Page 2

Dear J. Michael Mahoney,

I am the grandmother of a 23 year old grandson who is going through a gender transition. He is taking female hormones to grow breasts and has decided to take medication for chemical castration as well. He says he has been under the care of two therapists and a psychiatrist(?). I am very concerned, and I don't know where to seek help. The reason I am so concerned is not because of the transition itself, but because of his behaviors. He has been carrying a kitchen knife (chef's knife) and says he wants to kill someone. I believe he was sexually molested by his stepfather as a child, and I know he was physically assaulted as well. He is saying he hates all men and wants them dead. He talks about drinking a certain man's blood and barbequeing his flesh to eat it. Mind you, he is a vegetarian. He talks to a voice or voices in his head, and believes that he and God speak on an everday basis. He makes strange noises as well. I want desperately to find the help he needs in a long term facility. He was hospitalized a few times, but was always discharged within a few days. Unfortunately, money is a factor. I am fearful he may carry out his threat(s) to do harm to someone. Any help you can offer will be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 27 ]

44. Page 2

Subject: your book

A note to tell you I received your book and it is quite amazing to me on many levels.

One the obvious is the way that you and I have used quotes to learn and to teach. The book also has been upsetting in several ways. I had long ago not only dismissed Freud and gone for Jung ... but I had actually become an enemy of Freud (see my quotes under "Freud") I wanted to put as many nails into his coffin as possible. I receive angry letters sometimes about my collection of Freud quotes ... and I always surmise that the writers are Jewish ... and it remains an intellectual mystery to me why the great Jewish intellectuals place him so high ... Harold Bloom whom I read and respect very much has him up above Jesus and Mohammad ... It has always mystified me why this is so. But, your book has opened up for me (in my dreams) that Freud is on to something.

In fact my dreams had anticipated the arrival of your book. After years of not really dreaming, I had a dream recently where a "rose colored ethereal female" almost made of "smoke" came out of my breast where she had been face down ….. and took off like an astral projection out of me and then flipped over and "rose like a rocket" ,,… I was staying with friends who are very close to me (we have played in our own Trio for years) ..... So I mentioned the dream to them. The woman named "Nur" (meaning light) had owned a clothing store called the "Rose"... I didn't go for that connection and later recalled reading in Teddy Roosevelt's biography his statement about his career "I rose like a rocket"….. I liked this one as I was having a once in a lifetime breakthrough in my own long dead career as an inventor and historian of inventions. At the time I was attending a TEsla Conference. I was experiencing a great many synchronicities for the first time in decades and it had brought me back to life and hope ... So while driving to Colorado I was repeating to myself as an NLP statement "I rose like a rocket"….. My friend – the male side of the couple named "Aaron" had said to me several times that I should have a grand piano (I have a synth ) and I thought about everything a grand piano means to me ... the unattainable valuable Steinway Grand piano...which on a conscious level I don't ever expect to own. So Follow me here ..... In Aspen I go by intuition to the Aspen Music tent (where I have actually played) and where some of my most pleasant golden days have been spent lying on the grass outside with a picnic listening to classical music). Condoleeza Rice had just played their several days before ... It is the focus of the rich and powerful ... I go in the tent and there are 45 Steinway Grand Pianos on the Stage ... as they are having an end of season sale. I then get several synchronicites ... The most famous piano tuner in the world is there and he had a lifetime of tuning the Steinway at Carnegie Hall. I had been a stage hand at Carnegie Hall, and told him about my playing his tuned pianos when no one was about ... this immediately made him laugh and we were suddenly very friendly. All of my life I've been kind of a secret piano player ... most of my friends do not know I play ... and there is of course the thing of beautiful hands on the key boards ... which I certainly used to have ... Well then, unexpected to me, there was a young woman brought on stage who was Steinways newest pianist that had been most recently hired ... the lights are dimmed and she flows out in a silky gauze "rose-coloured" dress ... and she was most feminine and approached the piano like all great pianists by letting their hands float to the keys ... I met her later and got an autographed CD of her music ... I chatted her up and found that she lived in the same county as where I was born and on the way home while driving through this county I actually thought of looking her up (I'm a married man) My wife is a horsewoman with very manly hands ... I was very stirred by this "rose lady" and her beautiful hands ... I was actually wanting to meet her and some way continue to see her ... I actually wanted to seduce her ... she was the rose woman that flew up out of my chest ... my "anima". I listened to her music all the way home.

This incident caused me to come alive with sexual desire that I hadn't felt in years. Then the night before I returned home I have a dream that I'm looking in a mirror and my face is that of an Asian girl ... In real life I have morning coffee regularly with a former Navy Top Gun Pilot (the epitome of masculinity) middle name of "Thor"... and he is always referring to Asian women as "little brown fucking machines" which grates on my nerves ... but in the dream I'm carrying one of these beautiful Asian women up a stair case to an attic and I am anticipating hot sex with her and she says the same for me ... Then another Asian woman comes in and drops one of my boots on the floor (other shoe will drop?) masculine boot? And for the first time in years I have felt very sexy (I'm 66).

So I just wanted you to know what your book triggered off in me. Also I listed your book on scholarisland.org under "Psychology".

What strange territory we humans occupy ... I also thought of a friend of mine named [Name deleted] who is also a very creative artist ... writes, paints everything ... He lives in a little town in New Mexico most of the year (He is Australian) He bought some land a few years ago and was with a beautiful woman and they were going to build a house together. Well she ran off. He built the house and built a room and closet for his feminine side whom he has named "Georgia" and everyday at evening time he changes into beautiful feminine clothes and becomes Georgia ... He seems to be the most constantly creative and happy artist I have known ... Maybe he has figured out how to work this all out.

Maybe you should do a book on people that have somehow worked out this male/female problem in a healthy way ... And I think that is what many artists are ... instead of killing themselves over it ... they simply turn it into a play and have fun with it ... after all the entheogens ... take you through this and then certainly beyond to a healing place where usually the "Christ" is seen as your real identity an androgonous identity ... "neither male nor female" and it all gets worked out ... you might check the web sites of Robert Venosa and his wife Martina Hoffman who have obviously worked this out ... google up these names and see their art ... Fantastic is what it is ... and she paints many paintings with her face and a mustache painted on ... The other artist who did this in her life and art is "VAli" (now off the planet) She was the queen of the 50s and 60s avante garde ... she went so far as to tattoo a mustache on her upper lip ... There is an avante garde film about her that is quite amazing of how she lived ... She had a harem of men and women too ... she never wore shoes and had a powerful musk odor ... And lived in a cave in Italy with dozens of animals ... Another artist named Mati Abdul Klarwein who you can also find on the web (he has left the planet too) You will find lots of art where you can see artists working through in a playful way what others have lost all happiness like Zelda ...

Check this out ... Your work would be complete if you could show how some artists use this struggle.

I'm a fan of your book and think it is powerful and I like that you just use the quotes ... You will see that my whole scholarisland.org has been my education.

Very bizzare all of this ... I have been quite shut down for decades and all this month has been an amazing awakening for me and your book certainly played some catalyst role.

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 26 ]

45. Page 2

Hi friends, I recently made an amazing acquaintance with an author who has done the most interesting book on "Madness" I've come across. And as you know my wife's brother committed suicide on Xmas day so this is serious business. He has written a book Schizophrenia: The Bearded Lady Disease by J. Michael Mahoney ... His book triggered off some amazing dreams from me and released some deep psychic knots so we have been emailing ... I've suggested that he see your Art as I think all of you have gone through the madness and come out the other side. I suggested that Art is the way to transcend ... I would like to have him contact your websites ... I'm not sure that I have your art web sites ... so could you please send them to me. Also I would like Mati's web site and any information on Vali the wild woman ... I had a video about her ... I think Bob gave it to me ... can't remember ... But basically J. Michael Mahoney is interested in the whole issue of gender and schizophrenia which his book really makes the case that many people succumb to terrible madness and suffering in their inability to deal with it. Please let me know if you are interested.

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 25 ]

46. Page 2

Subject: book

Sir,

I have just read about the book Schizophrenia: The Bearded Lady Disease. My son was diagnosed with Schizophrenia more than 20 years ago. Along with being psychotic and other similar afflictions. He is now 49 years old. Last year he was hospitalized because of a diabetes problem. They put him in the mental ward of the hospital. While he was there he claimed a doctor offered him a shot to change him into a woman. He accepted this shot and went home and got rid of his clothes and bought women's clothing, make up, wigs, ... the whole nine yards.

He claims he started having monthly periods and milk coming from his breasts. Now he has officially changed his name to a feminine name and also changed his last name.

I don't want to burden you with anymore details but what I'm wondering is whether or not it would do any good to hand him your book which I have not read myself yet. So far any conversation we have where I don't agree with him he gets very angry and upset.

I'm trying not to write too much but wanted you to hear some of this and perhaps offer your two cents worth.

Thank you.
Mom,

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 24 ]

47. Page 2

Dear Mister Mahoney,

I visited your site, via your ad in NYRofB. Being a psychotherapist & philosopher (in retirement, more or less) it drew my attention.

Maybe it is of little interest to you but I would like to inform you about yet another source on the bearded lady phenomenon.

Where I was born and lived most of my life (south of The Netherlands) there is a little known and rather obscure Catholic phenomenon known as "De Heilige Ontkommernis". It is found also in Amsterdam and in various German cities. The phenomenon consists of pictures and statues of a bearded woman on the Cross. The dutch phrase "De Heilige Ontkommernis" would translate in English as "Saint Uncumber". It sounds in English as strange as it does in Dutch, I guess.

The story behind it is the legend of a nobleman's daughter refusing to marry a man of her father's choice. She asked God to help her growing a beard, which he did. The marriage was cancelled and the lady became a saint. Needless to say that "Saint Uncumber" features in female convents and monasteries.

If you appreciate more info on the phenomenon and its sources (Wikipedia gives some info; try the entry "Wilgefortis"), don't hesitate to contact me. It would be my pleasure to go after it.

Your website does a fine job, it reaches more readers than any book in the 21st century on the matter could hope to get.

So, and again, I would be happy to track & deliver more info on the phenomenon if that would be of any help to you. I need no credits.

Apart from that, I would be happy to find ways to spread the info on your website. Let me know.

Cordial salute,

Geoff Smeets

goffredofabbro@hotmail.it

[ 23 ]

48. Page 2

Many thanks for forwarding this quote to me, Mike. [New Quotation/-Comment 733, specifically – "And that fall, I met a girl called Monique. My heart was still in California, but I had a wonderful affair with Monique. She nursed me back to sexual health – you know, gave me my cock and balls back, and I am forever thankful to her. She took care of me."]

The girl that moved in with me back in the early 80's was my saving grace. It was a much more 180 transformation for me. Within 4 or 5 days both the paranoia and delusions had subsided and I started sleeping normally. That was the turning point for me and the last episode that I had for 20 years. I also can identify with what he was stating about seeing certain sexual symbolism in certain things.

I don't believe that I ever told you that I did go through another episode about a month after the 9/11 thing happened. It was real mild and maybe only lasted a couple of weeks with just a couple of nights being somewhat difficult. I guess because I was familiar with the symptoms I didn't end up too far out there. In fact the regular medical doctor that I was seeing at the time just thought I had a case of mild depression. I think that the fatigue that I was experiencing from the hepatitis C was sort of a blessing in disguise in that it helped me to get to sleep at night without having to take any medication or alcohol. Trying to teach school plus taking care of the kids and the house just started getting too much for me with the fatigue I was dealing with. After the 9/11 thing happened I started to think about how crazy religion can be. I remember watching a show on TV around that time about Afghanistan and the Taliban executing prostitutes and homosexuals and I remembered what this one psychiatrist at the detox ward told us, "Sometimes anger can be guilt turned outward." I thought to myself that is the exact reason why the Taliban & Islam were reacting like that. I was aware of my bisexual nature and peoples' bisexual nature in general at the time. The 9/11 thing brought things to the forefront again and I thought that maybe it was my purpose to make this knowledge known.

That is why I like your book so much, Mike. Coming from me it is coming from a fool, but coming from you it is coming from a scholar.

I hope the world is treating you well up there.

Best, John

[ 22 ]

49. Page 2

Oct. 23, '08

Dear Mr. Mahoney

Thank you for sending me Schizophrenia: The Bearded Lady Disease. My youngest son was diagnosed at the age of 17 while living in the Wash., D.C. area. He spent time in most of the hospitals there, including St. Elizabeth's. He is 53 now and his medications are keeping him stable.

In 1993 he fell from the 5th floor balcony of his father's apartment in Silver Spring, Md. He fractured his pelvis & left ankle. He is able to walk, thank goodness, but sustained bowel and bladder dysfunction.

Since 1996 he has been here in Florida, living in assisted living facilities. I am able to take him to doctors' appointments, entertainment and meals out.

Three times a week he goes to a social gathering place called [Name deleted], where he meets with others with similar problems.

He's been able to stay out of the hospital for a whole year now, thanks to a very supportive living arrangement at his present A.L.F.

Very sincerely yours,

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 21 ]

50. Page 2

Wow! Coming across your website made me suicidal. Not because there is a preexisting mental illness, but because I cannot believe that such insanity exists. Schizophrenia is mild compared to what inflicts you.

[ Writer's name and gender information not provided ]

[ 20 ]

51. Page 2

Sir.

I have recently come to read your hypothesis as to the cause of schizophrenia and realized you may be interested in this work of mine.

I have for a number of years being trying to explain how I made a discovery...

The discovery I have made has now been shown to be more effective in more diseases than any treatment in history.

It has now been shown to be ... recommended ... for more diseases than any treatment in history.

I came across the finding of man being a herbivore eating meat.

The iron from the meat we eat builds to toxic levels in the body causing all disease.

One of the results is endocrine disorder.

Hypogonadism / low testosterone at one time had only one treatment ... iron reduction therapy.

It has been shown iron excess is known to cause schizophrenia but they believe it doesn't cause all schizophrenia.

I believe a hypothesis must be proven ... false ... before a statement of 'it cannot cause all schizophrenia' can be used by reasonable men.

If iron is KNOWN to cause schizophrenia then one MUST eliminate iron in order to disregard it.

My work is found on the Nature Network and this work ... iron reduction therapy ... has now been shown to be more effective in more diseases than any treatment in history.

The treatment is bloodletting/blood donation which lowers the iron levels down to normal.

It seems you have done alot of work and may not have been thanked properly ... but .. such is life isn't it ...

Thank you for your work,

Tom

Herbivore Hypothesis

http://network.nature.com/groups/herbivore/forum/topics

[ 19 ]

52. Page 3

Dr. Mahoney: Your book has 'rocked my world.' I have a paranoid schizophrenic brother, but I have experienced manic depression myself. I feel strongly that there is a link there; have you explored this? I resolved my sexual ambivalence, and my symptoms went away. Can you comment?

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 18 ]

53. Page 3

Hi Mike. An update on [deleted] that you may see a progression in? He has been saying for the past two weeks that his mind is being taken away from him. He has dropped most of the predictions of great things coming to him. Girls, prizes, awards etc. and has become very depressed saying over and over that he is dying. He has accused his mother of sending him to places that stole his mind. One in particular was the NIH institute in Maryland that he spent about a month at for diagnosis and treatment in 2001. He told her that they had him watch horrible pictures of people being tortured and mistreated and he keeps having recurring visions of this. He is sure that this is what started his mind going bad. He has spent the last two weeks with his father from [deleted] who came to [deleted]. He told his father over and over that he needed a woman. His father took him to a lap dance place the night before last and bought him two lap dances. He told his father that during the last one he had a climax which was what he needed. His father is now considering getting him a prostitute. This was related to [deleted] this morning by the father.

In your past experience do you see any progression in this and what it might be? Thanks in advance for any comments you might have. [deleted]

[ 17 ]

54. Page 3

You are so damn cute. O.K ... I get what you're saying ... to say that is the case for ALL mental illness is interesting for thought ... and I will continue to contemplate this! I do see it SO MUCH, especially being in my position where I was living the "right" way, then the choice was truly insanity, or living my truth ... I see SO MANY PEOPLE who are wound up beyond belief, almost coming out of their skin with anxiety &/or anger, and I always think "they seem gay to me, wonder why they don't just come out?" You know, I think a lot of it is too much of a sense of self importance. They think they're so almighty important that the world will stop turning if they come out of the closet. If I could tell 50 Catholic family members.. little old Catholic parents, a husband and 2 teenagers that I'm gay... then anyone can do it. And look, everyone's fine... kids are alive and yes, bummed that their parents got divorced, but not bummed that their mom's living her truth. Hopefully they learned a lesson about getting through huge identity crisis' - and about unconditional love.

I just adore my name next to the title of Psychologist! I actually headed into grad school to get my Masters in PSych when I was 40, but decided that I was going to need to focus on coming out and getting divorced instead, my head was too not screwed on tight to make it through ... and the classes were TOUGH. I took neuro-psychopharmacology and it kicked my booty... without 100% focus I couldn't make it.

Did I tell you that I sat with my clippings the other night... it was my little meditation time. I rarely take time to "chill out" anymore... and it was a real treat. I'll have to tell you about my 93 year old gay client... she never says it... but it's obvious. From that time they're conditioned with words like "woman friend" ... "no, I never found the right man" I always want to say "ya... cuz your right man had a vagina!" ha!

I must get to work!

A big fat hug across cyberspace
Susan 2071rental@gmail.com

[ 16 ]

55. Page 3

Schizophrenics have unresolved gayness.

[ a personal communication ]

[ 15 ]

56. Page 3

[...] is back in the psychiatric hospital. [...] went down to SA and got him in yesterday afternoon after receiving calls from him all day that were about the voices etc. He has been calling here since arriving quite often on their pay phone and telling her that he has gotten rid of the anthrax and gangrene right away but that he couldn't find his cigarettes. [...] is now afraid that he will be thrown out of his program. I will keep you updated. Hope you are well. [...]

[ 14 ]

57. Page 3

Hi Mike

I just watched an episode of The American Experience about Jim Jones. It is a PBS documentary that I recorded on my VCR the other night. Different people were talking about Jim Jones and his sex life. This one lady said that Jim Jones believed that he was the only heterosexual person in the world. He believed that all of the women were lesbians and all the men were gay. He would sodomize some of the different men in his congregation but he publicly said that they should give themselves enemas first. Jones seems like a classic case of the bearded lady syndrome. I still have the documentary recorded on a VCR tape and could send it to you if you'd like.

Best regards, John
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7IxGGfpSWk

[ 13 ]

58. Page 3

Hi Mike,

[...] has been in and out of the hospital twice in the last 10 days. He insists that the men he is living with have stolen his brain and want to do him harm. He also told [...] that he doesn't like being around men. That he dislikes all of them and is refusing to go back to the community living arrangement with other men. His father suggested again bringing him to [...] for awhile if he is relatively normal. This reminds me of some of the cases in your book.

Are you aware of anyone anywhere in the country that would be willing to see [.....] for Psychoanalysis in the manner that Kempf Did? [...] is thinking once again that your theory may be correct and that is the only way to address the problem.

Hope all is well with you. [...]

[ 12 ]

59. Page 3

Hi Mike,

I first heard about John Nash when the movie, A Beautiful Mind, was first released. I didn't know really who he was until 60 Minutes ran a piece on him. Because of my own history, anything to do with schizophrenia always catches my interest. During the segment the interviewer asked Mr. Nash if he was a homosexual and he answered no. His wife Alicia then spoke up and said that she has been his wife for a long time and believe me he is not a homosexual. When I heard that question the first thing that I thought was that Nash must have gone through the same kind of confusion that I had gone through. After all, where did that question come from? It wasn't until after I read Sylvia Nasar's book did I understand where that question came from and why it was asked. The movie, A Beautiful Mind, was really well done as movies go, but there was much that was not covered in his life and I noticed that the dates or time line when his psychosis first appeared were wrong. The American Experience documentary that I sent you does a much better job of covering Mr. Nash's life story, but it also doesn't mention anything about early bisexual confusion that Sylvia Nasar mentions in her book. Nasar did mention that the old Freudian theory that the anxious panic of a schizophrenic is a homosexual panic at its core is now rejected by the psychiatric community. I wish that more people, psychiatrist especially, would take the time to read Kempf's paper at your website. Katan's theory that hallucinations are a discharge of repressed homosexual libido also makes perfect sense to me. The way that Nash's symptoms slowly receded as he got older could be a result of lessening of hormones and thus libido energy as a person ages. Anyway Mike, that is my take on the curious case of John Nash.

Best regards, John

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrAc5CVw2zQ

[ 11 ]

65. Page 3

On September 24, 2009 at 2:42pm, [name deleted] wrote:

Dear Michael,

I'm embarrassed to tell you I still haven't read your book but I want to and I will. I am trying to figure out what I can do to help my son. My other son and I have tried to get a Power of Attorney to have [name deleted] committed for evaluation but [name deleted] has refused our help and accuses us of all kinds of things.

You previously suggested that I write a book documenting all these crazy e-mail letters I receive from him. I have saved them all but don't begin to know how to make sense out of it. Yesterday I received another rambling letter with all kinds of stories that he must believe are true but they aren't. He didn't send the letter to me but to many other people and one of them forwarded it to me. I'd like to forward what he wrote because I'm hoping you can suggest what I should do about it. We (the family) fear him and don't really know what he's capable of. He goes to doctors and counselors but he tells them he's transgender and that is causing all these problems. The truth of the matter is that he's schizophrenic. He takes all kinds of medicine including hormones and other things for women.

There is just too much to say and maybe you don't want to even respond which is understandable. I'll forward what he wrote just in case.

Thanks again and best wishes,

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 10 ]

67. Page 3

On September 28, 2009 at 10:07 pm, [deleted] wrote:

Michael,

I would like to have access to your website. Please tell me where to find it.

You would probably be interested in one of the emails [name deleted] sent me where he says he started having menstrual periods and had blood in his "panties". I about died when I read that one! BTW, he told me he has only had sex three times and always with the same woman. I know the woman and she said they never had sex. It's all so confusing and so far you are the only person I've "talked" to in all these years who understands what it's all about.

I'm planning to put all the email letters on a disk so they are never lost. Then maybe I can try to assemble it somehow. Many of the things he told me and I have no written proof of it but trust me, it's bizarre!

I wish I could meet you.

[ Name deleted for privacy reasons - Please also refer to Impressions 65 and 66. ]

[ 09 ]

76. Page 3

Hello Michael,

I do find your work fascinating as my boyfriend is suffering 'bearded lady disease' ..... self diagnosed by (me) after reading your online book.

We had a 6yr gay relationship until earlier this year when he ended the relationship so he could lead a Charlie Sheen 2 1/2 men lifestyle. Basically, he wanted to sleep with lots of women.

7 months later, and he has not slept with any women, but he has had gay sex with me and did like to talk about the sex he would like to have with females.

2 weeks ago he jumped in front of a train (attempted suicide) he is still alive but lost his right wrist. He still loves me and wants to be with me, yet still has sexual desires' for women. I have mentioned your book and may even give him a copy, although he did say he needs sexual counseling. One step forward I guess.

Can you tell me if you have organized therapy training anywhere in Australia, preferably Melbourne?

Regards [ Name deleted for privacy reasons ]

[ 08 ]

83. Page 4

Subject: Re: CONFLICT AND "SEXUAL" IDENTITY CAUSING SCHIZOPHRENIA?
On April 20, 2010 at 5:27pm -0700, you wrote:

Well...I'll tell you what? Being as I AM A Schizophrenic? I think I would know in a way more personal way than you..And I do NOT suffer from some deep seated perverted homosexual desires..

"What joy for the nation whose God is the Lord, whose people he has chosen as his inheritance."(--Psalm 33:12--)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: CONFLICT AND "SEXUAL" IDENTITY CAUSING SCHIZOPHRENIA??
On April 19, 2010 at 6:04pm -0700, you wrote:

YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR COTTON-PICKING MIND!!!

"Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm".-(-Ephesians 6:13-)

[ Note: The name of the woman who wrote the above two emails has been deleted for privacy reasons. ]

[ 07 ]

95. Page 4

[ November 23, 2010 ]

Hi Michael,

I would like to thank you for all your research. You have helped me tremendously understand my boyfriend of 6 yrs who is suffering from the symptoms you describe on your website. He refuses to label himself as gay although he has had numerous same sex experiences in his past (and possibly intermittently during our "breaks"). He says that it is only a mind thing and that he gets a kick out of pushing boundaries. Every few months he questions how he feels about me and tries to break off the relationship but then breaks down apologizing and crying and begging for me to come back...He enjoys very much buying lingerie for me and on occasion he has shaved his legs for no reason....I have tried to let him know that if he is gay that I understand and I will be alright with letting him go but he insists that he is not. He says that he is so obsessed with women to the point that he says he almost wants to be one. Recently he has admitted to not wanting to grow up and has acknowledged he has psychological problems and asked me what I wanted to do as far as the relationship goes. I have decided that this is not a healthy situation for me to be in and must move on. I am wondering if you can recommend an analyst in the [deleted] area that is aware of your research. I think this may help him and he seems open to receiving it.

Much Gratitude,

[ Name ]

[ 06 ]

96. Page 4

-- Subject: recovery is possible, I know it!

On November 30, 2010 at 11:04pm +0000, (name and website address deleted for privacy reasons) wrote:

Hello,

For the past few years I've been experiencing paranoid schizophrenia with voices predominantly calling me gay which I didn't agree with and caused me distress. I've always felt attracted to women but have felt held back. This has made me worry that the voices are right and I am gay. A few days ago I had an experience where I had the sensation I was a woman and accepted that I am bisexual. I felt like I gave birth to a woman in my head and felt like I was two people in one body. I heard her and saw a vision where she had half a face. I now feel fine and happy and confident about the future. I understand from your website that I need to make a choice about whether I want to have a partner who is a man or a woman and that this could lead to full recovery given time.

Thank you so much for this website which explains the bisexual conflict in schizophrenia. I believe it can help me and my counselor understand.

Best wishes,

[ Name ]

[ 05 ]

116. Page 5

On July 4, 2011 at 5:15am -0400, you wrote:
> I just saw your site today by accident i was searching for Sigmund Freud on masturbation and i found your site . I read a lot on your site about how repressing homosexual feelings could cause paranoia and other mental illnesses . i was wondering where i can get help to understand this more or someone that can help me even though its scary to think of this things but i need help my paranoia and anxiety is not getting better with time and im defiantly confused with a lot of things . ok i don't know i don't want to make my email really long i don't even know if ur gonna get my email and if ur gonna answer i just need help this feeling i have is horrible no human should live this way i think . thank u for ur time . i am a 24 year old male.

[ 04 ]

119. Page 5

On July 7, 2011 at 4:52pm -0400, [name deleted] wrote:

ok mike thanks i would let you know if i needed someone to talk to . I have some questions i would like to ask and one of them is how come im still paranoid even though im with a transsexual now we live together for 2 years and im still the same way i like women for sure ,,,but something happened to me when i was really young and that is sexual abuse by my older brother and i sexually abused my sister who was two years younger than me and this is like 11 years ago and she is married now ..but i never got over what happened not so much for myself but to her i felt so guilty for what happened i was 13 years old at the time i think but i still blame myself i wanted to know if that guilt has anything to do with my paranoia . I say i like women but there is a part of me that doesn't like women and the reason i think is what happened to me and my sister what do you think is there a connection there ? and i wanna tell you what happened to me when i was around 17 years old i let you know latter thank you mike for your time .

[ Please also refer to Impressions # 116.]

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128. Page 5

Mr. Mahoney,

Thanks for sharing your book and insight which seems to provide a very logical approach to schizophrenia.

I'm not sure if you respond to personal emails from the public but I have a brother with full blown paranoid schizophrenia that I have spent much time with whose symptoms seem to correlate well with your hypothesis. Was wondering if you could recommend any good therapists (that follow your work and Dr. Kempf) in the [deleted for privacy reasons] area?

If you have made it this far thanks for reading... I have also listed some of his symptoms below:

Extremely repetitive thoughts like he's forced himself to use this as a mechanism to escape unwanted thoughts, the need to control everything as if this is also a mechanism to control unwanted thoughts, much more comfortable around females, delusions about 'us and them' (holds conversations with himself daily), walking several hours a day except very strangely like he's drunk (he does not drink or do drugs ) and when he starts he has a strange ritual of stumbling like he's transcending into another world completely oblivious to traffic or anything else.

I'm not a psychiatrist but he does feel comfortable talking to me and recently i have thrown out bits and pieces of your ideas at him like telling him its ok to thoughts u do not want, everyone has them etc and oddly enough he hasn't resisted but quite the opposite he hints that he wants to continue talking about stuff he would normally shut off to.

Thanks,

[Name]

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Mr. J Michael Mahoney,

My name is [deleted], I just finished reading Schizophrenia - The Bearded Lady disease, I came across it yesterday and could not stop until I finished. EXCELLENT!!!

I am 42, I was diagnosed as bipolar/schitzoidal years ago but from my readings found schizophrenia might be more appropriate and have had numerous psychotic breaks, delusions, etc….the most recent being at end of January.

I think what you have written is very accurate. I still don't want to be labeled as "gay" or "homo" but accepting the fact that I have sexual feelings for people of the same sex does make life better. I understood this a long time ago but there is no one to discuss it with.

Books and compilations like this would help people greatly. The problem with hospitals nowadays is that is full of psychiatrists. People suffering and showing signs of mental illness don't just need psychotropic drugs shoved down their throats, they need psychotherapy.

Thanks for the great read. If you are still interested in this subject then feel free to contact me back. I have tons of insight from my own personal experiences and in depth personal conversations with people that have various degrees of illness.

Take care, [deleted]

tel. no. [deleted]

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133. Page 6

Fwd: I think I might be kind of delusional now On May 28, 2012 at 2:46am -0400, [deleted] wrote: when I go to the hospital it just pours out of me, people get freaked out and the next thing you know I am shackled to a bed, right arm pulled down hard against the bed to a point where my circulation is cut off, left hand left loose with about 2 inches of wiggle room, left leg strapped hard, and right leg left slightly loose. Clothes ripped off and tubes stuck down my penis against my will, groups of men and women staring at me saying this is hospital policy. You make one notion that you are there for a "psychological reason" and you become scum. Someone to abuse that nobody really gives a shit about. This has happened to me several times and it is when I start talking about things. I GET PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSED AT THE HOSPITAL. I CANT GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN. It is traumatic.

I can also start to relate this to life, religion, from Jesus to Mohammed, the Mayan calendar, the psyche. ....... Actually the polarization of the earth switches every 10 thousand years or so and low and behold the Mayan calendar ends on 12 21 2012, not really end of times, but hey the Mayan calendar goes for approx 10,000 years, coincidence? I can get to religion here too, Jesus was a Schizophrenic but came from a place of love not hate like Hitler/Stalin/Bin Laden, and His craziness is still affecting us today. There is an actually physical alignment of Earth, a Line, and a Black hole that resembles a long slit. Not my words. See the sexual references? All this stuff is on Discovery Chanel and History Chanel, ancient aliens; the clues are glaring all of us in the face. Sometimes when people are looking for something they never see it but when everyone steps back and looks at everything it is just glaring everyone in the face. Human beings have forgotten simple laws of physics; the pyramids are built with better precision than technology can do today.

Take it easy, [deleted]

[ A personal communication from a 42-year-old man suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, the "bearded lady" disease.]

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