A Great Awakening
Hi Mike,
Right now I am writing this email in regards to this lady in her mid- 40's who states she fears she may be slipping into psychosis because of her lack of sleep. She says that she is a psychotherapist and she is describing taking some psychedelic last year. I have turned her on to your website and theory along with [Dr. Edward J.] Kempf's paper. I guess I should recommend her to read quote 528?Your friend and colleague, John
[ Subject's e-mail to "John", with her permission to publish it on this website. ]
The aftermath of my journey is too difficult and complicated to describe. I'm not trying to be evasive, but it would take at least a few hours just to give a nutshell summary of what's happened. Suffice it to say, very, very bad things have been happening to me on mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, social and energetic levels. I've completely, totally fallen apart. The fact that I'm able to type this right now is actually enormous improvement.
Something that what you said brings up for me, though, that's relevant ... as I was coming out of my journey, as I regained consciousness, I found myself locked in an incredibly intensely sexually charged embrace with a woman, my legs wrapped around her. She was the facilitator's assistant. I'm told I had screamed, "I need help. I've lost my mind," and she held me in a yab-yum style embrace until I came to. I have never felt such intense sexual energy in my life. Prior to the journey, as we had gone around and discussed our intentions, she had mentioned her longing for a partner. I had related to that, because I long for one, too (a male). So as I was coming out of the journey and super-charged around her body, all of a sudden, my entire world was turned upside down as I realized (still in a semi-psychedelic state) that this was the obvious solution to her and my longing for a partner and grief about there not being enough good men. It had been right in front of my face this whole time. To feel in such an intense, visceral way my attraction and longing for her was more foundation-shaking than I can possibly describe. I had thought myself to be open to the idea of being with a woman, but until I felt quite how strongly that possibility rocked my world when it arose, I hadn't realized how much my worldview centered around "men and women."
As the medicine wore off, of course, I started finding things wrong with her, just as I would have with a man. But having had that experience really made me wonder. After the journey, I decompensated so badly that I hadn't even thought much about that experience. But now you're bringing up this bisexual nature thing, and I wonder how that might have influenced everything that unfolded for me afterwards.
[ Note: The definition of the term “yab-yum” (see para. 2 above in Subject's e-mail to "John") can be found through an internet search. ]